How did you come to know Libby, Jack, Vincent, and T?
When I first had the idea to write multiple voices from different places to explore the idea of connection across divides, the characters I had in mind weren’t coming to life. And then I met an amazing girl who had come through so many hard things and whose family was infamous in her small town. She told me what it was like to try to create her own space in this world and push back on her family: basically what it was taking to be able to sprout up like a flower through concrete. She was the spark that became Libby. Jack, T, and Vincent fell in place quickly after that. I was looking to find the balance of characters that were entirely different from each other in terms of location, social standing, interests, political views…but where I could still connect deeply enough with each to tell their story. And at the same time I wanted to explore how rigid gender boxes affect a wide range of people (not just girls who are getting the message that they aren’t good at math and science), but how they actually put obstacles in the path of all kinds of people.
What do you think are their most admirable qualities?
They are all incredibly resilient, each in their own way. And they ultimately all need to separate from the social forces around them in order to be true to themselves and do what’s right. And I know that that can be one of the most challenging (and most important) things to do.
Is there anything you wish they would have changed or done differently in their story?
I don’t let myself think about that too much once I’ve given a book over to the readers. Because I know it’s not my book anymore. That said, I’d love for this book to be read alongside books that show a wide range of experiences and stories about gender non-binary kids, especially ones where their biggest obstacles have nothing to do with their gender. One limitation with stories with multiple points of view is that you only have space to tell one main narrative about each character. I wish there could be many more narratives available to readers. In this case, that means reading a variety of books.
What do you think they can offer to other children that are experiencing similar situations to what they went through?
I hope the characters are able to show kids that even when you feel alone, you’re still connected to others. And sometimes feeling alone IS what connects us––because there are lots of kids all over the country feeling alone right now.
Also, I hope they see that small actions can make a big difference. Often when we’re faced with problems, it’s overwhelming because the problem is so big, but if you can take one small step forward (like each of the characters eventually find a way to), that will enable you to eventually take another small step, and another and another. And at some point, you’ve been able to take an overwhelming situation and reshape it into something you can handle.
How did you research the four characters and the circumstances they found themselves in?
Most of the research I did focused on T. I read lots of first person accounts of gender non-binary kids, and I did a whole lot of listening to the gender non-binary people in my life. I also made sure that a number of different gender non-binary people read the manuscript and gave feedback early on. As a cis woman, I am not the person to write a book about a single main character who is transgender, but as I explored the ways that kids are affected by rigid gender boxes and the ways we can find connections despite differences, I wanted the cast of characters to reflect those who fall outside the traditional gender binary, as well. That meant that I needed to make sure that I was as qualified as possible to write about this range of kids.
Also, my first job out of college was at a drop-in center for homeless teens in Seattle, so drawing on that experience helped me get into T’s head as they work to survive on the street.
(Plus: I read a whole lot of tedious articles about small school funding issues in Vermont. J )
Do you and the kids share any similarities?
Yes, I have something in common with each of them. With T, it’s our determination to tuck our heads and do what’s hard – even when the hard thing can feel like a huge risk. We actually both ended up on our own in Seattle after taking a risk like that, though I had much more of a choice in the matter and luckily had a place to live when I arrived.
With Vincent, it’s our sometimes bizarre stubbornness that comes with not wanting the bullies to win. Plus, I do love geometry.
With Libby, it’s our overzealous zest for life – that can sometimes be a bit over the top.
Jack is the one that I have the least in common with, but even there we both know the value of community and share a love of rural places.
What was the hardest scene to write about them?
The hardest scene was the one where Jack attends the school board meeting because I knew there were going to be bigoted adults getting involved. It made me feel sick even though I knew these kids were eventually going to find a better way forward.
Who do you think were their biggest supporters and why?
I’m not sure if I can answer that without giving too much away. It’s a key question throughout the book because when we’re kids (and honestly as adults, too) the search for finding the people who have our backs (and love us for who we are!) is one of the most important in our lives. Even finding just one person can make a difference, whether it’s a peer, an adult, or a stranger. But then, when you find TWO? That’s when the three of you can form a triangle, as Vincent would say, and you can take up space!
But, mostly: the first and foremost supporter that each of the kids has is themselves.
Why do you think some children have the innate ability to spread kindness, love, and friendship beyond their own small world, while other young people can’t see beyond their own existence?
I’m not sure. I do wonder if the kids who have been treated unfairly are often the ones most clued in to what’s unfair for others. Sometimes they are hurting so much that they want to make others feel how they feel, but sometimes their passion is instead for righting the wrongs they see. In both cases, I imagine there’s an unconscious need to reclaim the control they had been missing.
I know that the times I have felt most powerless are the times I have been propelled to action in order to escape that feeling. In one of those cases I was feeling powerless against the rise of hateful speech in December of 2016 and when the Islamic Society in my state got hate mail, I decided to send them a postcard covered in hearts. I figured that if regular people were perpetuating the hate, then regular people should be able to do something to stop it. That postcard caused such ripples (ripples that affected me as well as people I’d never met) that it ended up being the inspiration for this book.
What do you think Libby, Jack, Vincent, and T are doing as the present time?
For me, I see that as a question that readers should get to decide for themselves, but I do love thinking that all four have found a way to stay in touch with each other. J
