An Inside Look with Heather Clark
*Season #SIX (Summer 2019)
How did you come to know Morgan? What a fantastic question. The truest answer of how I got to know Morgan is I gave birth to her. Obviously at this point, Morgan has become her own character, and is no longer a reflection of my daughter in most ways. But several years ago I was sitting in a lecture at Storymakers by agent Elizabeth Harding, and she was talking about writing what you know. Of course, as a lifelong Anne of Green Gables fan, this really resonated with me. I was reminded immediately of my own daughter who was in heading into 5th grade in 2014 when I nearly died of a pulmonary embolism. This event was traumatic for my daughter, who already suffered from anxiety, and was the super-responsible, perfectionist type, like Morgan. When I started thinking about what would have happened for my daughter if I had actually died, the idea of my husband taking my children camping for the first time after my death sparked a lot of emotions. I think in some ways the initial draft this book was a way for me to process an experience that was pretty terrifying for all of us. And to realize that my kids definitely would have what it takes to make it without me. So a couple of Morgan's key characteristics came from my own daughter. Besides the perfectionism, like Morgan, my daughter is also super obsessed with soccer, and she actually has a pretty hard core Star Wars fandom as well, which I gave to her friend Hrishi in the book.
What do you think is her most admirable quality?
Morgan is extremely empathetic. Her worry for everyone around her, and her desire to help and strengthen everyone is her superpower, but also her downfall until she learns to find a way to balance this with also meeting her own needs.
Is there anything you wish Morgan would have changed or done differently in her story? Of course, I would wish for any real child to tell an adult that they trust what they need, what’s hurting them, and get help as soon as possible. Without Morgan’s decision to hide her needs from her Dad, her life would have been a lot easier a lot sooner. But I also know that after a great tragedy, there’s a process we have to go through. Grieving requires a lot of us, and there are no shortcuts a lot of the time. Going on that dangerous hike was a terrible decision. Hiding her feelings from her Dad, and not letting him see where he was letting her down made Morgan’s life harder, but I think that in life, and in my books, sometimes the terrible paths we go down are what make it possible for us to learn. Plus, without Morgan’s rough decisions, we wouldn’t have had a story. So as an author, I’m grateful for Morgan’s path, and I hope maybe someone else in pain could read her experience, and choose to take an easier route.
And without being too spoilery, I know if Morgan could change one thing, she’d have made a different choice rather than going to a certain pool party. But if readers want to know why, they should definitely read the book.
What do you think she can offer to other children that are experiencing similar situations to what she went through? I guess I really addressed this in the last question. But I really hope children reading this would know that they are not alone with all the things they're thinking and feeling. I hope as they travel with Morgan they will feel a little bit less afraid about the worries they’re carrying alone. I know that not everyone has parents like Morgan's parents. Some children may find it more difficult than Morgan did to find an adult who they can trust. But I really believe that finding someone who they can trust to share their hearts with is going to make all the difference.
I hope that if adults read Morgan's story that they would establish a tradition of lemon drops with their kids. We got our lemon drops from the school psychologist who met with my daughter shortly after I almost died. She said that lemon drops are like difficult conversations—sour at first but becoming sweeter quickly, as long as we brave the sour. Lemon drops or not, I would hope that adults would set up a system so that their children know how to get their attention quickly and completely when it really matters. This tradition in our home has helped us avoid a lot of pain and frustration.
How did you research Morgan and the circumstances she found herself in? This one didn't take a lot of research. Our family goes camping in Capitol Reef National Park every year. All of the places that are described in the book are perennial favorites. This really helped bring the setting to life. As far as the depictions of anxiety, I've had a lot of experience with this myself, and with my kids. Having kids who are currently middle grade readers was helpful for understanding the voice of the novel and what a child’s internal life is like right now. They were also a fountain of information about Star Wars fandom specifics, and my years as their soccer mom definitely helped inform all of the soccer scenes.
Do you and Morgan share any similarities? Oh boy, yes. I’m that anxious girl who needed her mother, who needed and still needs to make things right for everyone. When I can’t, it’s my hardest challenge. But I think learning to accept the life we have, and learning to be okay with the things we can’t control is such an important life skill. I wind up writing about this theme a little bit in all of my books.
What was the hardest scene to write about Morgan?
The scene where Morgan’s mom collapsed and promised everything would be okay was excruciating. I didn’t write it at all until a mentor insisted on it in later drafts of the book. The day I wound up in the hospital from my own embolism and promised my daughter I’d be okay, when I didn’t know if that would be true haunted me. And I put Morgan into such a terrible situation on that day, when the reader knows, but Morgan doesn’t, that everything in her life is about to change forever. Even thinking about this to write it out for this interview has my throat closing up, and tears welling.
Who do you think was Morgan’s biggest supporter and why? Wow. Morgan has such a community of support. So much love coming her way. Imperfect though her friends and family may be, they love her, and she has such a solid foundation. I think in the loss of her mother, Morgan loses her greatest support, or so she thinks. And I want to believe that her Dad is going to be an amazing support through the rest of her life. But ultimately, Morgan is her own best support as soon as she learns to reach out, ask for, then accept the love and support of her Dad, who is still there. Her whole family will support her for the rest of her life, just like she will continue supporting them.
Why do you think some young people take on such adult responsibility during family struggles and/or hardship? I think it’s really hard to trust the people in your life to take care of your needs. Especially when it’s something you need so desperately. Maybe it’s just me, but I tend to often feel like my whole life is a school group project, and that if I delegate, someone might let me down. I see this with my kids too. When I go to school for the Christmas concert or school play, if they don’t see me in the crowd, they don’t believe I will be there. One day I asked a stressed-out kiddo, “Have I ever missed your school play or concert before?” They grudgingly admitted I had always been there. But still, every concert, they’re scanning the crowd, anxious that I’ve forgotten them in their special moment.
I think when we have very little control, and especially when we’re young, we often try to control things in very odd or random ways. You’ll definitely see this in some of Morgan’s strategies. But even as an adult, and even though I actively work to let go of my need to control everything, I haven’t entirely outgrown this. Learning to give up some control and deal with ambiguity and uncertainty is almost always a theme in my books for this reason.
What do you think Morgan is doing as the present time?Hmmmm… If I think of the present time as Morgan’s senior year in high school, I think she is playing soccer still. I think her team is doing amazing, and she is surprisingly good friends with Mackelle, who still needs to have solid boundaries set from time to time. I think Morgan and Hrishi are just friends, but that Keilani and he just went to homecoming, and there seems to be something budding there. I think Budge is driving Morgan up the wall with his new music choices, and his sense of humor that pushes her buttons in all the wrong ways. And I think she has learned to talk—really talk—with Janie, now that Janie is heading into her teen years and a little more open about feelings. I think Morgan’s worried about leaving everyone to go away to college, but will figure out how to let that go. Aaaaaand… now I’m thinking of writing a companion novel for tweenage Janie. And maybe for Budge. And I’m wondering if Morgan has a new stepmom by now. Uh-oh, Patrick, what have you done to me?
Thanks for this chance to think and talk about this book. Thanks for reading. And as always, thank you for helping get books into the hands of the kids you serve every day as a teacher. Happy reading!
Heather
SEASON #SIX (Summer 2019)
Interview #122 with Tamara Bundy (Author of Pixie Pushes On)
Interview #123 with Lindsay Lackey (Author of All the Impossible Things)
Interview #124 with Tae Keller (Author of When You Trap a Tiger)
Interview #125 with Jamie Sumner (Author of Roll With It)
Interview #126 with Hena Khan (Author of More to the Story)
Interview #127 with Phil Bildner (Author of A High-Five for Glenn Burke)
Interview #128 with Leslie Connor (Author of A Home for Goddesses and Dogs)
Interview#129 with Gillian McDunn (Author of Queen Bee and Me)
Interview #130 with Jody J. Little (Author of Worse Than Weird)
Interview #131 with Jenn Bishop (Author of Things You Can't Say)
Interview #132 with Kaela Noel (Author of Coo)
Interview #133 with Rebecca Stead (Author of The List of Things That Will Not Change)
Interview #134 with Gae Polisner (Author of Jack Kerouac is Dead to Me)
Interview #135 with Emily Blejwas (Author of Like Nothing Amazing Ever Happened)
Interview #136 with Joy McCullough (Author of A Field Guide to Getting Lost)
Interview #137 with Kim Baker (Author of the Water Bears)
Interview #138 with Erin Entrada Kelly (Author of We Dream of Space)
Interview #139 with Jess Redman (Author of Quintessence)
Interview #140 with Melanie Conklin (Author of Every Missing Piece)
Interview #141 with Lindsey Stoddard (Author of Brave Like That)
Interview #158 with Rebecca Ansari (Author of The In-Between)
Interview #159 with John David Anderson (Author of One Last Shot)
Interview #160 with Tracy Holczer (Author of Brave in the Woods)
Interview #161 with James Bird (Author of The Brave)
Interview #162 with Marcella Pixley (Author of Trowbridge Road)
Interview #163 with Barbara O'Connor (Author of Halfway to Harmony)
Interview #164 with Alan Gratz (Author of Ground Zero)
Interview #165 with Lisa Fipps (Author of Starfish)
Interview #166 with Ann Braden (Author of Flight of the Puffin)
Interview #167 with Kimberly Willis Holt (Author of The Ambassador of NoWhere Texas)
Interview #168 with Elana K. Arnold (Author of The House That Wasn't There)
Interview #169 with Erin Soderberg (Author of The Great Peach Experiment)
Interview #170 with Donna Gephart (Author of Abby, Tried, and True)
Interview #171 with M. Evan Wolkenstein (Author of Turtle Boy)
Interview #172 with Lindsey Stoddard (Author of Bea is for Blended)
Interview #173 with Jess Redman (Author of The Adventure is Now)
Interview #174 with David Levithan (Author of The Mysterious Disappearance of Aiden)
Interview #175 with Chris Grabenstein (Author of The Smartest Kid in the Universe)
Interview #176 with Ali Standish (Author of The Mending Summer)
Interview #177 with Holly Goldberg Sloan (Author of The Elephant in the Room)
Interview #178 with Jeff Zentner (Author of In the Wild Light)
SEASON #ELEVEN (Fall 2021)
Interview #179 with Katherine Applegate (Author of Willow)
Interview #180 with Padma Venkatraman (Author of Born Behind Bars)
Interview #181 with R.J. Palacio (Author of Pony)
Interview #182 with Kyle Lukoff (Author of Too Bright to See)
Interview #183 with Barbara Dee (Author of Violets are Blue)
Interview #184 with Anne Ursu (Author of The Troubled Girls of Dragonmir Academy) f
Interview #185 with Margaret Finnegan (Author of We Could Be Heroes)
Interview #186 with Jasmine Warga (Author of Shape of Thunder)
Interview #187 with Joseph Bruchac (Author of Rez Dogs)
Interview #188 with Kathryn Erskine (Author of Lily's Promise)
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